


Anko Mitarashi: Sex ed Sensei!

by Demon_In_The_Shell



Series: Make Anko Great Again! [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Action & Romance, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Humor, Bisexuality, F/F, F/M, Gallows Humor, M/M, Multi, Shameless Smut, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:34:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27366649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demon_In_The_Shell/pseuds/Demon_In_The_Shell
Summary: A what-if story where Orochimaru bit Naruto instead of Sasuke, which, thanks in no small part to Anko Mitarashi results in a domino effect of depravity. There will be some small changes/expansions on the canon and a few oc's here & there, but I'm trying to keep the focus on main characters.I rated this explicit, but this'd be what you'd call a "soft E."
Relationships: Mitarashi Anko/Uzumaki Naruto
Series: Make Anko Great Again! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1998949
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. Hot for student

**Anko Mitarashi was starting a new class today for the leaf genin.**

**Naruto, leery of getting on the jonin's bad side, had been the first one in the room.** **Luckily, she seemed to be in a good mood today.**

"Mornin', Uzumaki! **Anko flashed the young boy a cheerful smile as she strolled over to his desk.**

"G-good morning, Anko-sensei!"

"Say, uh... sorry 'bout that tension we had a few days ago. But, um, you know... I, um, well..." **Anko blushed.**

 _Weird. She's acting like Hinata for some reason..._ **Naruto thought.**

"I was just trying to give you some perspective, y'know? In my own way, I _do_ care..."

"Okay, I guess I understand that, but what about the uh, um..." **Now Naruto was blushing.**

"I got a little carried away." **The jonin** **explained.**

"Alright, well just warn me when you're getting carried away again, will ya?"

**Anko was puzzled. She would have imagined most guys would appreciate a hot chick licking them.**

**Then again, Naruto was pretty young, and seemed a touch less mature than most boys his age. Anything more intimate than holding hands was likely beyond his comfort zone. For now, anyway...**

"You got it. Friends?" **She offered her hand to the boy.**

"Uh, sure." **Naruto took it after a brief hesitation.**

 _Hm... I didn't really notice before 'cause of how scary she was, but she's... she's really pretty._ **Naruto blushed even harder as he studied her features.**

"You're really pretty. **Naruto's eyes widened as he realized he'd said that out loud.** ...er, nice! Really pretty nice!"

**Anko giggled, undid the genjutsu concealing her nipples and bent over Naruto's desk, giving the boy a nice, close, intimate look at her tits.**

"Yeah, well, don't go spreadin' it around... It'd be bad for my rep."

 _Holy cow! I can... I can see everything!_ **Naruto blushed. He couldn't help but stare. He couldn't help but feel... funny.**

 **Anko, meanwhile, couldn't help but giggle again.** "Somethin' the matter? You look tense."

_Her genjutsu must've worn off! I... I gotta tell her! But if I do, she'll kill me!_

**Suddenly, the door opened and t** **he rest of the male genin started coming in one by one.**

**Anko smirked and put the illusion back up as she went back to her desk and looked around the room. No absences. Perfect.**

**Whispers began to fill the classroom. No one but Anko, the Hokage and some of the other teachers knew exactly what was going on.**

"QUIET!" **Anko yelled in a high, sharp tone, silencing the room.**

"You've all heard by now that the remainder of the chunin exams have been postponed for the next couple months, yeah?"

"Yes, sensei." **The class answered.**

"Well, us grownups got to talking, and there've been too many close calls for comfort. In short, we'd all sleep a lot better if we felt our precious students were ready. Anyway, I've taken it upon myself to prepare you. You're welcome."

**None of the genin were particularly thrilled to hear this, but Sasuke was downright livid.**

"So you're making us take _two months_ of tests for a test we were already _in_? What kind of _bullshit_ is- ***thwack*** "Ow!" **A piece of chalk flung by Anko hit the boy in the forehead and cut his outburst short. Naruto couldn't help but snicker.**

"Mouth off to me again and the next piece's goin' up your _ass._ Got it?" **Anko warned him.**

 _Bitch..._ **Sasuke gritted his teeth in anger.**

 _I think I'm in love!_ **Naruto thought, grinning from ear-to-ear.**

"Listen up, guys! With me, flattery will get you _everywhere_ , so stay on my good side and we'll get along just fine. Now... before we get started, I have a few questions. Show of hands, how many of you like girls?"

**All of the students sans Sasuke raised their hands immediately. After catching Anko's eye, Sasuke reluctantly raised his as well.**

"Okay... how many of you like guys?"

**This time, no one raised their hands, with some looking nervous, some looking disgusted and Naruto and Sasuke looking embarrassed.**

"Liking the same gender is nothing to be ashamed of. Shame does not exist in this classroom. Neither does prejudice. Anyone giving shit to anyone about what they like is going to answer to me."

"Um, Anko-sensei! Anko-sensei!" **Naruto waved his hand in the air.**

"Go ahead, Naruto. You had me at 'um.'" **She cooed.**

"What exactly _is_ this class?" **He asked.**

"This'd be Sex Ed."

"S-sex!?" **The blonde turned bright red. As did many of his classmates.**

**Anko was pleased to see sex wasn't an unknown concept to them, but she had a feeling they didn't know much, and what little they did 'know' was comprised almost entirely of misconception and outright bullshit.**

"Now, boys, this here's a hands-on class. Think of it as a dojo of sorts. Today's lesson will be on ejaculation."

"Naruto Uzumaki!" **The jonin pointed at him.**

"Y-yes, Anko-sensei!" **Naruto got out of his desk.**

"I want you for today's demonstration. Come on over." **Anko beckoned the boy to her.**

**Little did they know, Orochimaru was among them, in disguise.**

_Interesting... That Uzumaki brat's interference may yet bear unexpected fruit..._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NaruAnko is the hottest ship, imo.


	2. Naruto's Sexual Awakening XXX

"Come closer, Naruto. I won't bite."

**Naruto took a deep breath and got close, intimately close to his teacher.**

"So... ever kissed a girl before?" **she asked, batting her eyelashes at him.**

 **Naruto gulped.** "W-well, not a girl..."

 _Ah, I get it now. His first kiss must have been with that Uchiha douche. From the looks on their faces, it wasn't a very pleasant memory._ _Don't worry, cutie. We'll start making great memories right now..._

 **Without warning, the jonin kissed the boy on the mouth.** "Mmmm..."

**After about 10 seconds, she broke off the kiss, leaving Naruto, and everyone else, stunned.**

"See guys, in Anko Mitarashi's Sex Ed, I'll be teaching you more than just the mechanics of sex. For example: etiquette. It's common courtesy to kiss your partner before engaging in sexual activity. -and now that I've done that..."

**Anko grabbed the waistline of Naruto's pants and briefs and yanked them both down to his ankles, exposing his ass to the rest of the class.**

"Ah!" **He yelped and covered his crotch in a panic. The other students were quite shocked themselves.**

"Holy shit..." **One student whispered.**

"That teacher's fucking nuts!" **His friend whispered back.**

**Naruto could often get on his fellow students' nerves, but he made them, save for Sasuke, laugh just as often.**

_Sorry, Naruto... but I can't die until I've avenged my clan..._ **Sasuke looked down in shame.**

**The rest of the class felt similarly. It wasn't they didn't want to help Naruto, they just had this thing about dying. They weren't fond of it.**

"Hey! What'd I say about the shame, kid?"

 **Naruto looked away, embarrassed.** "Anko-sensei, it's just, I've never-

**Anko smiled, lifted her shirt and put his hands on her bare breasts. That quieted him.**

"Close your eyes and take a deep breath."

**Though still flustered he did as she asked.**

"I'm going to remove my hands. You keep yours on my tits."

"Okay..."

**The former proctor put her hands behind her head and stretched, eager for him to get busy.**

**She waited, yet his hands did not move.**

"Um... Anko-sensei. What exactly do I do?"

**The jonin rolled her eyes. She really had to tell a twelve-year old boy how to play with boobs? Wasn't that all boys his age thought about?**

**Granted, Naruto did seem more innocent than most boys his age...**

"Hm... How you'd learn to fight?" **she asked the blonde.**

"I guess I just tried a bunch of different stuff 'til I found somethin' that worked."

"Sounds like fun. Do that."

**The blonde took another breath and began to play with his sensei's tits. Squeezing them, moving them around, smushing them ever so slightly...**

**Naruto started to see Sakura before him, in his mind's eye.**

_Ugh! I can't be thinkin' about Sakura! It's disrespectful to Anko-sensei! ...I think._

**Luckily, his sensei's voice snapped him back to reality.** "Kinda like stressballs, huh?"

"Yeah, but they feel way better!"

 **Anko giggled.** **There was the cheerful, energetic Naruto she knew.**

"Is it okay if I look now?" **She asked.**

"Um, yeah."

**The sex ed teacher looked down and saw equipment far more impressive than she would've imagined for a boy his age and size.**

_Holy shit. So that's where most of his mass went... Surprised he's not gettin' dizzy, fillin' up all that meat..._ **Anko bit her lip.**

 _Fuck..._ **The feel of the boy's hands on her tits and the sight of his raging hard-on was making Anko so wet she started to soak through her pants.** **The fact that she didn't wear panties didn't help. The fact that she knew genjutsu however, did.**

**Naruto in his preoccupied state, was unaware of how turned on he himself was.**

"I-I'm going to get behind you, 'kay, Naruto?" **Anko stammered. She was aching to touch it.**

"Can I, um... Can I keep my eyes closed?" **he asked nervously.**

"Sure. Just relax and let me do all the work."

"Yes, sensei."

**Anko moved behind Naruto, and took a moment to admire his other side.**

"Damn, you got a cute butt for a guy." **She chuckled and gave him a playful smack on the ass.**

**Naruto was surprised by the sudden contact, but at the same time, he couldn't help being a little flattered.**

_I wonder what she thought of my front?_ **the genin wondered.**

**Naruto's sensei embraced him from behind, and slowly turned with him to the side, giving the class a good view of his rock hard member.**

"As some of you may know, this is an erection. It's what happens when a man gets aroused or 'turned on.' We'll cover that topic in full on Wednesday."

**She pulled him close against her, sandwiching his head between her breasts.**

"Anko-sensei..." **Naruto moaned.**

"I've got you. -and call me Anko." **She whispered in his ear.**

"Everyone, watch closely." **The sensei instructed her class.**

**Taking a bottle of lube from her pouch, she poured a generous amount of the stuff in her right hand and started to jerk him off.**

"Oh..." **The genin moaned softly.**

 _This... this slippery feeling... it feels so good..._ **he thought.**

**Anko increased the pace a bit, settling into a steady rhythm.**

**Naruto started to pant gently as the the older woman pleasured him.**

"Tell me when you're getting close, okay?"

"How... will I know when that, that happens?" **Naruto asked breathlessly.**

 **Anko giggled.** "You'll know. Trust me."

**The sex ed sensei continued to slide her lubed-up hand up and down his shaft, going faster, faster, faster...**

_Sakura..._

**The genin moaned softly.** "Anko, I-I think I..."

**Seeing him react to her touch was getting Anko more excited than ever. On instinct, she bent down and gave his face a long, lecherous lick.**

_Shit. Forgot he doesn't like..._

**Naruto let out a cry of ecstasy so loud that the students at the front of the class had to cover their ears.**

**Anko quickly put a condom on him, collecting his massive load and sliding it off him when he filled it up.**

**Naruto collapsed to the floor, utterly spent.**

"In case you're wondering what that was, that's what's known as an orgasm. As you might imagine, it's the reason people have sex. Well, most of the time.

As for this stuff in the condom, it's called semen. It comes out when guys have orgasms. It also contains sperm, which is how women get pregnant, but we'll cover that on Friday's class. Oh, yeah, and condoms are an obsolete method of birth control. Birth control will also be covered in Friday's class. Any questions?"

**There was only student who raised his hand.**

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Are you like, saving that stuff for something?" **The boy pointed at the filled-up condom.**

"Just dessert." **Anko grinned and gulped the contents down.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anko thinks Naruto is innocent... kakakaka... if she only knew...


	3. Mad, Mad, Anko M.

**Anko decided her little demonstration was enough for the first day of Sex Ed. Starting Wednesday, however, she and the boys were going to get _busy_.**

**The class had left, with the exception of Naruto, who was allowed to stay and recover. Presently, Anko was letting him rest his head in her lap.**

"So... what'd ya think of your first hand job?"

 _So that's what that's called..._ **the genin thought.**

"It was awesome! You're um... really good at that stuff." **Naruto gushed.**

 **His sensei chuckled.** "I've had a lot of practice. Anyway, Naruto, I've been meaning to ask you somethin'."

"Uh, sure. Go ahead." **Naruto sat up.**

"When I was talkin' about guys, I couldn't help noticing you and Uchiha looked a little flushed. Seems like there's a story there."

"It's a... long story." **Actually, it was quite a short story, but all the same, he'd rather keep it to himself.**

"Ah. Was he a good kisser?"

"Well, it wasn't really a ki-" _Shit! She got me!_ **Naruto clamped his hand over his mouth.**

 **Anko** **laughed.**

"It's not funny! I got beat up!" **the genin protested.**

 **His sensei's expression darkened immediately.** " _Who_ beat you up?"

"Um, well... I mean, I don't want to get anybody in trouble."

"Punks who beat on their classmates are asking for trouble. Now tell me what happened."

**Naruto explained everything. Staring down Sasuke, the bump leading to the accidental kiss, and the girls going apeshit on him, even after being told it was an accident.**

"I see..." **The new sex ed teacher grinned sadistically.** **The girls' class was tomorrow.** **She'd teach those little bitches a lesson they'd never forget.**

"Hey, Anko?"

"Yeah?"

"There's something I gotta tell you. When we were... doing stuff, I, well, I..."

"You were thinkin' about another girl?" **Anko had suspected as much. At his age, it'd be weird if he didn't have a crush.**

"I'm sorry." **Naruto looked at the floor, feeling guilty.**

"Hey. Look at me."

**The genin nervously met her eye and she, in turn put her hand on his shoulder.**

"I'm your teacher, not your girlfriend. You think about whoever you want." **The jonin smiled at him.**

"R-right."

"Anyway, there's something I want to tell you too, Naruto." **Anko blushed.**

"What is it?"

"I... I, um... I'm always here for you. Uh, if you want to talk. Or do a little y'know, 'extra credit.'"

 _Wow! She's like, the coolest teacher ever!_ "Hehe. Thanks, Anko."

"Ah, that reminds me... you can call me Anko when it's just us, but when class is in session, you gotta call me Anko-sensei or sensei, alright?"

"Well, sure, but earlier..."

"That was another example of sex etiquette. In that moment, we were lovers, so it was okay." **Anko explained.**

"Oh, right. That makes sense."

**The jonin just remembered something important.**

"Hey, Naruto, you know I teach the girls tomorrow and Thursday, yeah?"

"Uh, yeah. The boys get those days off, right?"

"Bingo! Well, from what I hear, there's going to be a big festival tomorrow. Somethin' about a group of traveling performers. Anyway, I was gonna check it out after class. Maybe we'll see each other there?" **Anko was trying her best to sound nonchalant. She hoped she was succeeding.**

"Sure, Anko-sensei! That sounds like fun!"

 **She tousled his hair playfully.** "In the meantime, you'd better get home, kid. Your parents are probably wondering where you're at."

 **The blonde's face fell.** "I, um... I don't have any. I live alone."

"I-I'm so sorry, Naruto."

"Hey, how could you know?" **He grinned cheerfully.**

 _How could I not? I must the be only one in the village who didn't..._ **Anko silently cursed herself.**

**It occurred to her that all she really knew about Naruto was that he had a big mouth, a big ego, and a big penis.**

**Not that she found these traits undesirable, but she _was_ eager to know more.**

"Say... you doin' anything for lunch?"

* * *

**The next day...**

* * *

**Anko, ashamed of her ignorance of Naruto, had made sure to do her homework this time. Granted it took a small 'favor' or two for Ebisu to get her hands on the homework, but that was a small price to pay.**

**Of the seven girls who assaulted Naruto, four had apparently been married off to some rich lord somewhere.**

**The only ones who remained in the village were** **Ino Yamanaka,** **Sakura Haruno, and Choko Aruheito.**

**They were also the only students who remained in the classroom. Anko had instructed the rest to go enjoy the festival.**

**Currently, Anko had Ino, Sakura, and Choko, in that order, bent over her desk, naked, and bound by Anko's pet snakes.**

_Vanilla..._ **Anko suddenly gave Ino a smack on the butt.**

 _Chocolate..._ **Then did the same to Choko.**

 _Strawberry..._ **Finally, she slapped Sakura, the rival to her affections, on her unusually voluptuous ass.**

 **Anko licked her fingers.** Mmm... _Better than ice cream..._

"Okay, girls, now that I have your full attention, I'd like to talk about how we listen..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dem girls 'bout to learn a lesson 'bout messin' with the crush of a jealous dom. ;)
> 
> P.S. Choko Aruheito is a name I made up for the unnamed brown-haired girl who stands next to Sakura in episode 3. The one in the green outfit.


	4. Ropes and dreams.

**In Room 069 of an otherwise empty-school,** **Ino, Sakura, and Choko were bare, bound, bent over, and at Anko Mitarashi's mercy.**

**Sadly, Ino, being Ino had yet to learn her place.**

"Y-you won't get away this! When I tell my dad about this, you're dead meat, old lady!"

_For God's sake, Ino! Shut your mouth!_ **Sakura silently pleaded.**

**Anko bent down to smell the blonde's hair.**

"Wh-what do you think yo-!"

**Ino froze in terror as she felt the older woman's tongue across the side of her face.**

"Mmm... Blonde hair, blue eyes, a big mouth, and a _cute_ butt..." **Anko giggled as she bent over to lick Ino's lower cheek.**

 **Ino gasped.** _She just- she's gonna- Oh_ , _God..._ **Ino shut her eyes tight and whimpered.**

"You and Naruto have a lot in common. Hm... I wonder if you moan like him?" **The jonin teased.**

 _Oh, please no..._ "Did- did you do... _this..._ to _Naruto_!?" **Sakura asked in horror.**

"Nah, see, discipline is for shitty little bitches who beat the shit out of their so-called friends, not sweethearts like Naruto." **Anko stated matter-of-factly.**

_Seriously, what does he see in this girl? What the fuck does she have that I don't? Other than that big-ass forehead..._ **The jonin shook her head in shame. Larger-than-average forehead or no, Sakura was certainly an attractive young woman. It was her personality that was the problem.**

**Truth be told, Anko wouldn't have minded sharing Naruto with a woman(or man) she felt was worthy. But Sakura had a loooong way to go before she became worthy in her sensei's eyes.**

_I see. Sensei's avenging the man she loves..._ **Choko thought.** **The brunette had suspected Anko-sensei's reasons since she brought up Naruto. However, it was a revelation to the other girls.**

"Oh, great, _perfect_! Thanks, Sakura! I've always wanted to be some crazy snake lady's bitch! God! Would it have killed you to keep your pms under control for five fucking seconds!?" **Ino yelled at her former friend.**

"Fuck you, Ino! Like you never hit him! Why the fuck do you think _you're_ here!?" **Sakura fired back.**

"Because _you_ never fucking stopped! If _you_ had stopped acting like a crazy fucking bitch, _he_ wouldn't have told _this_ crazy fucking bitch, and _I_ wouldn't be losing my FUCKING VIRGINITY TO HER AT THE RIPE OLD AGE OF _TWELVE_!"

"QUIET!" **Anko screamed as she gave both girls' asses a hard slap.**

"Ow!" **They cried in unison.**

"You two _clearly_ need to work some shit out." **Anko had the snakes deliver a paralyzing bite to the two girls and release them.**

**Now she would bond them anew... With a lot of rope and a little patience, she soon had the girls in a proper sixty-nine position.**

**Hot, flushed faces forced to meet private places.**

"The paralysis will wear off in about a minute. Now, here's the deal: after you've made each other cum, _and_ promised to never hurt my- my student ever again, you're free to go."

**It occurred to Anko she hadn't been giving Choko much attention.** _Poor girl must be feeling left out..._ **The jonin thought with a sadistic grin.**

"As for you, sweetie... Hm, how 'bout I take care of you?" **Anko reached down and slipped her middle finger inside Choko's warm cavern, finding her expectedly tight and surprisingly wet.**

"Yes... Please... Make me yours, sensei..." **Choko whined.**

_Whoa! Didn't see that one comin'. Hm... This is a bit of a fix._

**On one hand, this was supposed to be a punishment.** **On the other, giving someone blue balls, or 'blue ovaries' in this case, was a violation of everything Anko Mitarashi believed, both as a woman and a sex ed teacher.**

**Besides, she had a weakness for perverts. She was one herself, after all.**

**Anko sighed, pulled her finger out and sucked the juice off.** "Are you sorry for what you did to Naruto?"

"Yes, sensei! I feel awful about it. I... I have for a while now."

**The brunette sounded sincere, but actions spoke louder than words.**

"Are you willing to atone for your sin?"

"Of course! I'll do anything."

**Anko smiled and called her snakes off the brunette.**

"Your mission will be to find Naruto and suck his dick. Oh, and don't forget to kiss him first. When you get back, we can do whatever you want. Any questions?"

"Um, can I put my clothes on now?" **Choko knew the answer was 'no.' It was why she asked.**

"Nope, and no genjutsu, either. If you don't want 'trouble', you'd better keep your cute little ass outta sight." **Anko was wise to her game, but decided to play along.**

**The harshness of her sensei's words made the young girl shiver in delight. She did as she was told and left to hunt down Naruto.**

* * *

**A short while later...**

* * *

**Naruto, taking advantage of his day off, was sleeping in, and having quite the erotic dream.**

_"Sakura..."_

**His teammate's pink head bobbed up and down as she worked her magic.**

_I'm in Heaven..._

**Naruto laid his head back and sighed in contentment. The slippery sensation, the warmth of her mouth, and the feel of her tongue was indescribable.**

**Suddenly, the blonde felt the pinkette take him all the way.**

_Whoa! I didn't know she could-_ **Naruto looked down in surprise.** _Huh? Anko-sensei!?_ **Now it was his teacher who was giving him head. She batted her eyelashes at him, moaned as though she were eating something delicious, and began to pleasure him more vigorously.**

_I'm... I'm getting close again..._ **Naruto felt a familiar heat in his loins as he watched and felt his sensei go down on him.**

"Anko..." **Naruto muttered as he eyes slowly fluttered open.**

**The genin, still feeling the warm, slippery sensation on his member, realized that he was being sucked off for real. He looked down and saw someone's head bobbing under the covers.**

_Anko! I'm... I'm about to-_ **He wanted to look into his sensei's eyes as he came. He threw his blanket off only to find-**

_KONOHAMARU!?_

**-that it wasn't his teacher, nor his teammate, but rather his sidekick who'd been performing the spectacular feat of oral sex on him.**

"A-ah..." **Unable to hold it in any longer, the blonde winced as he came in the younger boy's mouth.**

**The brown-haired boy removed his mouth from Naruto's penis and effortlessly swallowed his impressive load.**

"Mornin', boss! Did I do a good job?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? I can do twists as well as the twisted! Kakakaka...
> 
> Seriously though...
> 
> Imo, there aren't nearly enough female perverts in anime, especially Naruto. So, I thought... why not make Choko-chan a bi perv with a masochistic streak to compliment Anko-sama's status as a bi perv with a sadistic streak?
> 
> Frankly, there aren't enough bi characters in anime, either. Or in anything, really.
> 
> I hope you're enjoying the story so far.


	5. The circus comes to town!

**Konohamaru sat alone on one of the swings in the park.**

**The honorable grandson had never given it much thought until a couple days ago, but his boss had lived a rough life.**

**More than anything, he just wanted to make his boss happy, and had been researching ways to do that.**

**A chance encounter with Anko Mitarashi led to him asking her advice on the matter, which led to him trying what he learned from her on Naruto, which led to possibly the most awkward moment in Konoha history.**

_I don't get it... what did I do wrong?_

"Somethin' buggin' you, little man?" **His advisor suddenly appeared in the swing next to him.**

"Sis!" **If anyone could help Konohamaru with his problem, it'd be Anko.**

* * *

**A couple of hours later...**

* * *

_Man, I love festivals! The sights, the sounds, the sweet deals..._ **Kiba and Hinata were making their way through the bustling streets. Shino had went off to play some games.**

**A large, muscular man was sitting on an exotic-looking carpet, munching on rock candy. Before him lay various weapons, ninja tools and even jewelry. All of it looked high-grade.**

"Hey, Hinata, that guy's stuff looks pretty good. Wanna check it out?"

"Um, sure! Okay."

"Welcome to my stall, young man." ***krnch, krnch*** "Might I interest in you some kunai? This fine ninjato? Or perhaps one of my jeweled bracelets for your charming girlfriend?"

"G-girlfriend!?" **Hinata turned bright red.**

"It's not like that." **Kiba corrected him.**

"Forgive me. Still, it'd be unwise pass up my wares. Higher quality can't be bought."

**Kiba thought for a moment. It wouldn't hurt to get some new tools, but every merchant claimed to have the best products.**

_I'll see whether this guy's stuff is the real deal._ **The ability to detect quality items by scent had been passed down his clan for generations.**

"Mind if I examine that?" **Kiba pointed at a kunai.**

"Not at all." **The merchant handed the item to Kiba, who held it under his nose and breathed in it's scent.**

 _Doesn't smell like ordinary steel... Wait a minute, what's goin' on over there?_ **Kiba looked to the center of the area.** **It appeared as though the troupe, the reason for the festival, had set up an arena of sorts.**

**In front of the arena stood a blonde-haired man in red ninja gear with a kiseru pipe that had been converted into a microphone.**

**Next to him was a giant of a man in dark blue with African features and a massive sake gourd strapped to his back and a stunningly beautiful young woman in a revealing purple kimono with an umbrella, green hair, and breasts as big as her head.**

_Damn..._ **Kiba was practically drooling as he eyed the young woman.**

"I'm gonna, uh... take a closer look at the... thing over there, 'kay, Hinata?" **He absent-mindedly handed her the kunai and went to check out the main attraction.**

**In the arena itself stood the fourth and final member of the troupe, a man covered from head to toe in demonic, emerald-tinted samurai armor.**

**The blonde-haired announcer's voice boomed throughout the area.**

"Behold, the fiercest fighter of the Peach Mountain Piero-gun! With his strength, he can crush stone into sand! With his speed, his punches can deflect a hail of shuriken! With his skill, he can give the greatest of ninja a run for their money! Give it up for Hoshimitsu, the fighting MACHIIIIIIINE!"

**The demon warrior proceeded to perform a series of quick and flashy combos, eliciting cheers from the audience.**

"Survive four minutes in the ring with Hoshimitsu, and in addition to a one-hundred thousand yen cash prize, you'll have your pick of four _fabulous_ super prizes!"

**The announcer gestured to a nearby table that had both the money and several expensive items.**

"These prizes are:

"The Super Dreamstation XXL, complete with over sixty-four built-in games, including a special VR combat training program personally developed by Hoshimitsu himself." **Hoshimitsu bowed to the audience.**

"A bottle of ten-year aged sake from Yopparai, the bruiser of brewing's private reserve!" **Yopparai, the large man in blue, flexed his muscles.**

"This lovely spa and beauty set designed by the lovely and beautiful Momoka!" **Momoka, the woman in the kimono, winked flirtatiously.**

"...and last, but certainly not least, this exquisite solid gold kunai necklace, specially forged and tempered by me, Gosuke! Don't let it's luxurious shine fool you, folks, this baby's both fashionable _and_ functional. Now... who wants to step up and CLAAAAIIIM VICTORYYYY!?"

**Naruto loved a good challenge, but for some reason, that Hoshimitsu guy made him feel uneasy.**

"Hey, what's wrong? Why aren't you taking your shot, Naruto?"

"Iruka-sensei? What're you doin' here?" **the genin asked in confusion.**

"What, can't a teacher have a little fun once in a while?" **Iruka shrugged.**

"Yeah, but aren't you supposed to be, y'know, teaching?"

"Nope, I got the day off! Anyway, I think you should go for it! I mean, just think of all the ramen you could buy with that cash prize."

**Iruka was interested in seeing how far his former student, his favorite student, had come.**

**Encouraged by his former sensei's words and tempted by the thought of a hundred grand's worth of ramen, Naruto jumped up to the ring, eager to show what he could do.**

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a CHALLENGER! What would your name be, young man?" **Gosuke held his kiseru-mic up to Naruto.**

"Naruto Uzumaki, and I'm going to win this challenge! Believe it!"

"I like your confidence, Naruto! Now, here's the scoop: you can use any jutsu or weapon you want. Hoshimitsu will use only Taijutsu, but beware! We don't call him 'fighting machine' for nothin'!"

"Got it."

"Good! Now, step into the shrine and let the sacred art of battle commence!"

**The genin jumped over the ropes. It was time to show this town what he was made of.**

_Hm... This guy looks familiar... That's it!_ "Hey, you look kinda like Obelisk the Tormentor!" **Naruto pointed at his foe.**

**The armored man tilted his head at him in response.**

"What, never watched Yugi-oh before?"

"Life is precious. I'd rather not waste mine to crap." **The tinny, static-y voice answered.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just kidding, I actually really like Yugi-oh! Anyway, as you can see, this chapter's a bit of a breather.
> 
> There's going to be a couple of fight scenes in the next couple chapters, but after that, I'll be going back to good ol' pervy goodness. ;)


	6. Ninja vs. Cyborg Ninja

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My deepest sympathies to a certain clown who tragically lacks the wisdom to appreciate fun characters that make the story a little more interesting.

"BEGIN!" **Cried the announcer.**

 _With that armor, it's gonna hurt if I punch him..._ **Naruto decided he'd best stick to kicks and kunai.**

**The genin threw a kunai at Hoshimitsu's face and charged. His foe deflected the kunai and Naruto took the brief opportunity to launch a jumping thrust kick right at his jaw.**

**The fighting machine parried the kick with his right arm, and countered with a judo throw, slamming Naruto to the arena floor.**

"Your technique is powerful, but predictable." **Hoshimitsu observed.**

 _Ugh... damn, he's strong._ **Naruto coughed.** _Predictable, huh? Well, maybe that one was, but this one isn't!_

**The ninja in orange jumped back to his feet and prepared his signature move.**

"Shadow Clone Jutsu!" **One Naruto became four and surrounded the demon samurai.**

"A jonin-level technique? Interesting..." **Hoshimitsu mused.**

**The four Narutos charged again. One from the front, two on each side, while the real Naruto jumped into the air and prepared to stomp the fighting machine, Mario style.**

**Hoshimitsu did a backwards dodge as the clones from his sides attacked and slammed them into each other, headfirst. The clone in front of him he destroyed with one mighty straight-arm punch. As for Naruto himself...**

***Thuk*** **The stomp connected, but barely fazed Naruto's opponent. Naruto bounced off him and landed on the ground.**

"You can dish it out pretty well. Let's see you take it." **The fighting machine went on the offensive, and fought like a demon.**

* * *

**Not much later...**

* * *

"Damn it..." **Naruto sat against the ropes, exhausted. He'd given it his all, but he had nothing left. Hoshimitsu seemed to never tire.**

 _I'm glad Anko-sensei's not here to see this..._ **The genin would've hated to look so uncool in front of the coolest person he knew.**

"YOU WIN! CON-GRA-GU-LATIOOOONS!" **Gosuke's voice shook the young boy from his despair.**

"Huh? I... I won?" **The genin looked up in surprise. The warrior in green walked over and offered him his hand.**

"Time's up. You did well, boy. Claim your prize. You earned it."

**Naruto smiled at the older man and let him help him up. Exiting the ring, he pondered his options at the table. The game system looked pretty sweet, but he could always use some of his winnings for that, and he preferred to train the old-fashioned way.**

**He had no need for the beauty set, and as for the sake...**

"Hey, um, mister Gosuke?"

"Wondering about the sake? We just got a little thing for you to sign saying you won't drink it." **The older blonde leaned in closer and began whispering.** "We don't really care if you drink it, we just need plausible deniability, dig?"

**While Naruto wasn't particularly interested in it, it would make a nice gift. But for who?**

_I don't know if Iruka-sensei drinks. I'm pretty sure Kakashi-sensei doesn't. Hm, maybe..._ _Anko-sensei! She seems like the type._ **She'd given him so much, it was only right Naruto give her something in return.**

_But is that what she'd_ really _like?_ **The genin mulled over the final prize, the golden kunai necklace.** **Remembering how they first met, the choice suddenly became clear. Naruto took the kunai.**

"EXCELLENT CHOICE! Don't forget your cash prize!" **Naruto took a bag of yen from the table and left the crowded area to examine the gift for his sensei.**

**Holding the trinket up close, he could see the necklace part was made up of a long chain that had been looped through the hole several times.**

_A kunai on a chain... Cool! I hope Anko-sensei likes it!_ **Naruto looked around, but not finding his sensei in the crowd, decided to search the surrounding area.**

 _If Naruto won the challenge, then it's nothing I can't handle..._ **Sasuke's eyes burned with excitement.** **After seeing Hoshimitsu fight, he was dying to take him on himself. Plus, that simulator would make for excellent training.**

* * *

**Naruto continued his stroll around town, when suddenly, the orange-clad blonde was ambushed by a naked brown-haired girl who pulled him into a nearby alley. She was pretty strong for a girl her size.**

"What the-

**The girl cut Naruto off with a kiss. It appeared he had made a fan. Though a bit shocked by this girl's assertiveness, he decided to go along with it,** **reaching around the girl to to slap her bare butt** **as Anko had done to him.**

**Ever since the demonstration with Anko-sensei, it was like a fire had been lit inside him and t** **he morning's 'encounter' with Konohamaru had done little to douse it.**

_Konohamaru... he looked so sad. I really gotta talk to him later..._ **The blonde thought as the young girl pressed her body up against him and started kissing his neck.**

"Congratulations on your victory, Naruto. You were awesome out there."

**Naruto would hardly have called getting his ass kicked for three-and-a-half minutes awesome, but if she thought so, who was he to argue?**

"Thanks! Um..." **The genin realized he had no idea who this girl was.**

"Choko. Choko Aruheito. We went to the same class, remember?"

"Um... yeah! Now I do!" **he lied.**

"I'm glad you remember me! Anyway, Anko-sensei wanted to me to have a little uh, private chat with you."

Oh, that makes sense... "So, what happens now?" **Naruto asked.**

 **Choko smiled seductively at him.** "You just relax, and let me do the work."

**The brunette crouched down and pulled down his pants, finding to her surprise he wasn't wearing underwear and to her delight, he was impressively well-endowed.**

_He puts most guys I've messed with to shame..._ **she thought as she took him in her mouth.**

**Naruto was conflicted. It felt really good, but not quite as good as the blow job he'd gotten from Konohamaru.**

_I know I liked how it felt, so does that mean I like guys after all? Even though I thought I was with a girl? I know I didn't like kissing Sasuke, but that guy's a dick, so why would I? But Konohamaru... Thought I liked him as a friend, but now... Would I like kissing Konohamaru?_ **Naruto wondered.**

**The blonde shook his head and try to push these thoughts out of mind.**

**Choko removed her mouth and started to rub his shaft and lower head with her hands.** "You wanna talk about it?" **She asked, looking up at him.**

**This girl was pretty sharp, Naruto thought.** **She also seemed pretty experienced in sexual matters. Maybe she could help him.**

**Naruto took a breath and explained the morning's incident and how confused it had made him, but left his buddy's name out of it.**

"Do you think you could be bi?"

**Anko had asked Naruto that same question while teaching him some key terminology over yesterday's lunch.**

"I'm not really sure."

"Hm... well, why not make sure? Experiment a little with him. Sounds like he'd be down for it." **Choko started to suck him again as she massaged his balls.**

**It wasn't the worst idea Naruto had ever heard. Whether or not it cleared up his confusion, at the very least, it would certainly feel good.**

"CHOKOOO!" **A man's voice boomed in the alleyway, making the brunette nearly jump out of her bare skin.**

"Fuck, it's my dad! Sorry, but I gotta go, Naruto! I promise I'll make it up to you another time!" **Choko kissed him on the cheek and jumped up to the rooftops.**

Damn... Oh, well. Guess I'll go back and watch the rest of the fights. **Naruto left the alley for the arena.**

* * *

**Back at the arena...**

* * *

**Sasuke had almost made it to the ring, but Rock Lee had beaten him to the punch. His battle with the fighting machine was almost over.**

_He's probably after that training simulator like I am. Dammit! Well, whatever. The fight matters more than the prize, anyway._ **Sasuke flexed, eager for his chance.**

**Rock, being far more proficient than Naruto in the way of the fist, naturally fared far better, but still failed to inflict any meaningful damage on the pseudo-samurai.**

**Even so, Rock managed to hold Hoshimitsu at bay for four minutes, winning the challenge, the money and the super prize of his choice.** **To everyone's surprise, Rock claimed the beauty set.**

This will make a fine gift for Sakura! **He thought with a smile.**

"Guess that training program's mine after all." **Sasuke grinned confidently and made a mad dash to the stage.**

 **Sasuke began to silently study his opponent.** _That bulky armor and those tall geta conceal his true height and build. Given the way he moves, I'd say he and I would be similar in those respects. No ninjutsu, no genjutsu, no weapons, and I've already seen how he fights. I've got this in the bag._ **The genin in blue smirked.**

"If you think this will be easy, you're sorely mistaken." **Hoshimitsu warned the boy.**

"Really? Got any tricks up your sleeve?" **It didn't sound like a bluff to Sasuke's ears.**

"Yes. Here's a good one..." **The emerald ronin pressed a button under his left shoulder plate, and Sasuke could hear the hiss of steam coming from his foe. Pipes protruded from the spaces in his armor, and wheels popped out from between the soles of his geta.**

"BEGIN!" **Gosuke yelled on the mic.**

* * *

**One rigorous battle later, Sasuke could barely stand.**

_So, the reason they call this guy the fighting machine is because he's literally part machine_. **Sasuke had seen for himself when he managed to break the gauntlet Rock had cracked. The man's left arm** **was mechanical** **, and Sasuke was willing to be the rest of his limbs were as well. They were likely controlled by Magnet Release.**

_I get it... he can't actually use ninjutsu due to not having real arms, but he makes up for it with the strength his magnetically-controlled arms and legs provide._

**These limbs, in conjunction with his pipe jets and roller blades, made the cyber-ninja a far stronger foe than most, and an absolute bitch to defend against.**

_-and what was with his chakra?_

**Normally, to one using Sharingan, chakra appeared as one of several different colors. This man's chakra, white and blindingly bright, was something Sasuke had never seen before.**

_Just what is he, anyway? Well, it doesn't matter. What's important is that I won. By the skin of my teeth, but I won. Now to claim my prize..._ **Sasuke took the game machine and the bag with his money in it and went to rest at a nearby bench.**

* * *

**A beautiful woman in a long coat and fishnet shirt appeared among the crowd. Anko Mitarashi had arrived.**

_That guy in armor looks pretty tough... and that sake looks good. I think I'll give it a go._ **Anko enjoyed a good fight almost as much as a good fuck. She hadn't either in quite a while. In the blink of an eye, she'd made it to the stage.**

Anko-sensei? I hope she'll be alright... **Naruto had no doubt she could kick ass, but still, he couldn't help worrying about her.**

"Well, well... looks like our final challenger is this SUPER-SEXY SHINOBI! I hope you can fight as good as you look, hot stuff!" **Gosuke leered at her with a huge grin on his face.**

"Oh, stop..." **Anko giggled and waved her hand at him.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parents always have the worst timing, don't they? Anyhow, one more fight and we'll be back to fucking.

**Author's Note:**

> NaruAnko is the hottest ship, imo.


End file.
